Deadly Virus in Johannesburg…


It has come to our attention that a peculiar, new and extremely dangerous Virus has started spreading in the greater Johannesburg area.

I classify this as a virus since it seems to be spreading at an incredible rate.

The Virus seems to be targeting motorcycle drivers in particular and seems to leave only a handful of lucky ones unscathed. There is at present no specific discernable pattern, except that the virus seems to hit anywhere, at any time.

It appears to begin with motorcycle drivers who drive at such incredible speeds, that portions of their motorcycles completely disintegrate and fall off the bikes. Apparently this specifically affects the Number plate area of the bike. Be Warned !!! This condition even occurs with brand new bikes and it seems that the bigger and faster the motorcycle model, the more likely the tendency for this to occur.

 In some instances, there are variations of the virus…sometimes mud, masking tape or even paint starts to appear on the number plates, unfortunately obscuring parts of the numbers and digits on the plate. In certain extreme cases, it has even been found that the condition started eating away at the plates, where it left the number plate with portions eaten away in such a manner that the poor driver is left with only half the plate.

The condition also appears to affect the drivers themselves, since it has been found that once the virus starts to appear, the driver looses his/her ability to become aware of the rapidly deteriorating condition of the plates. Partial blindness seems to strike, followed by complete denial of the mere existence of the problem.

Although we are almost too scared to mouth this, we  are at this stage not excluding the possibility that the Virus could be a highly intelligent life form from another plant, trying to slowly, but steadily invade our peace here on earth, by causing rapidly increasing lawlessness , ultimately leading to complete anarchy on the roads…

Farfetched?

Well…then surely the only alternative theory is that there are bikers out there who believe that they are in some way above the law and that it is only applicable to far inferior road users, who are not in a hurry to get to their (less important) destinations safely.

And surely that can’t be the case…?

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~ by Danie van den Berg on 22/01/2010.

3 Responses to “Deadly Virus in Johannesburg…”

  1. Uitstekend!!! Moeilike saak op diplomatiese humoristiese wyse hanteer……
    1 vir die goeie ouens!!!!!!!!

  2. it affects BMW drivers as well

  3. The virus… I chuckled at the suspense in the ‘newspaper clip’, and the satirical style which managed to both extract a smile as understanding dawned, and bring home the severity of the message. Readers might certainly benefit from this passage in an entertaining as well as educational manner.

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